Varments, Varmants, Variants on varments!!!

Posting in the pm sounds amusing if nothing else.  The birthday boy is off to purchase various and sundry ways to kill ants and mice...denisons of our desert haunt.  Back to the desert soon to work in the musuem and hike a bit, now that my knee works again.  Can't wait.  Our dear little villa is overrun by ants and mice.  Ants in the refirg., toothbrush drawer, any sink or wetish area.  Mice leave their calling cards...small black pellets everywhere....fireplace, drawers, my drawers, mikey's drawers, bed frames, picture frames, all bathroom faucets and camodes...nasty little creatures.  Even pissed on my paintings.  Really, you are not paid to be a critic you little varmant!!  I am returning armed with soda bottle incentives, peanut butter traps, sticky traps, gooey traps, you name it, I got it.  Beware varments, I am pissed!!